To Mend A Broken Soul
by MyPreciousBookses
Summary: Tauriel was special. Everyone knew it. She was adaptable. She had lost everything and yet had made so much for herself. In Lothlorien, Tauriel was soon to regain everything she ever wanted in life- someone who loved her and soon a family again. Until a betrayal that makes her life fall apart... Not Tauriel from the Hobbit, my own OC who has her name
1. Chapter 1

"Tauriel, I can explain." Florien followed her out onto the balcony. She looked so beautiful, bathed in the soft moonlight, her eyes blazing.

"Go on then. Explain." Her voice trembled with fury. He remained silent.

"Explain!" she screamed at him. "Explain why you have been betraying me all this time. How many times was she with you? How many times! How many times were you with her in my bed?" She paused. He tried to take her cheek in his hand, but she threw it away.

"Tauriel, you are my life. My love. You were gone for so long. I needed someone. She means nothing."

"How many months?" Tauriel asked quietly. He remained silent. "How many months is she pregnant you treacherous bastard?" She roared. He tried to touch her but she pushed him away roughly. She looked around and threw the first thing she saw at him, which was a flower pot.

The sound of smashed crockery rang through their ears. Florien sat in the corner of the balcony, cringing, arms up to shield himself. He got up, trembling. He looked at her in disgust then turned to walk away. Florien stopped and turned around.

"Five months." He spat. "She's five months pregnant and I don't regret a single moment of it. You never gave me anything, but by doing this, you will lose everything. You, Tauriel, will live the rest of your days cursed, with no one to love you, no one who cares. You will live on forever in darkness and in doubt. You will become but a sad cripple; a shameful disfigured mistake. Until it comes to be that someone heart is so full of pity for you and your wretched life that they will love you. But that will never happen, I promise. No heart is that pure." As he had uttered his curse, an icy chill had taken to the air. He stood over her, eyes blazing. Tauriel stepped towards him.

"Florien," she said softly. Her eyes seemed to be full of sadness. She lifted her hand to his cheek.

Then punched him full on with all her force into his nose. He stalked out.

Tauriel screamed in fury and kicked the other flowerpot down. She went inside and breathed a sigh of relief. She was free of him now. And it felt good. So good to be gone.

But now she was alone again.

Always alone.

Maybe Florien was right.

Maybe she was a mistake.

Maybe.

The comforting hands of sleep gave Tauriel no longer to ponder over this as it sucked her into the void of dreams and illusions.


	2. Chapter 2

4 days earlier

"Keep up Horphen!" Tauriel called. They were on warm up drills for the morning. Tauriel was full of energy. Only a day left of this section training and then she could go home to Florien! They were going to be married in less than a months' time and she couldn't wait. Horphen was going to give her away to Florien. It only seemed fitting, as he was like a brother to her. The rest of her family were long since dead.

"Coming!" Horphen puffed.

He could not keep up with her today. This morning she was hyper. It was probably because there had been sightings of an orc army quite far to the east. 'Something fun' as Tauriel put it. Sure. She had been hoping to catch them before their section training ended, but it was unlikely.

Haldir stood next to Tauriel, arms folded.

"Nice of you to catch up." He said. Horphen rolled his eyes.

"Just because you don't have to do 30 laps doesn't mean you can take the piss out of me!"

"Actually, it does."

"Well, I'm a captain and I say you should both do another 30, so move it!" Tauriel ordered.

"I'm-" Tauriel slowly drew her knife.

"You would deny a Captain's orders?" He ran off.

Tauriel chuckled and climbed a tree so she could get a better view of the horizon. It was a pity. The orc army would be at least 20 leagues from them and so it was positively unlikely that they would encounter them.

Her sharp eyes widened in shock. The hill that was previously obscuring their view had been hiding the orc army. An hours' march at the most and they would be upon them. Adrenaline rushed through Tauriel, putting her on high alert.

Like lightening, Tauriel raced down the tree.

"Haldir! Horphen!" She shouted. The two stopped running. She made a signal, indicating that it was urgent.

"What is it?" Haldir asked.

"Orcs. Less than a half hours march over the hill. If we move quickly we can gain the upper ground of the hill. Haldir, summon your men, Horphen, ready your archers." They both nodded, looking extremely serious.

"Lighten up, they're only orcs! You'd think we were about to go to war!" They both smiled and ran off. Tauriel ran towards the mess tent. It was rowdy inside.

"Okay everyone!" They ignored her.

"Listen up!" No response. Usually her voice was loud, but today they all seemed to be deaf. Tauriel growled with annoyance and climbed onto one of the tables.

"OI! _LISTEN UP_!" All eyes were immediately on her. "Good. Brothers and sisters, though mostly brothers because you got the sisters pregnant. We are under attack! We need to move quickly. Get your weapons and find your section battle leader. We take the upper ground and kill the bastards before they can realise what happened." They roared in approval and quickly and efficiently moved. Tauriel smiled and hopped off the table.

She organised her group of men at the front. She would lead a full battle charge at the front, Haldir from the left and Horphen from the right. Then she would lead a smaller group amidst the battle around the back, whilst Haldir lead the front. Tauriel's group would charge them from behind, taking them by surprise.

They marched up to the top of the hill. The army was huge, they would be outnumbered at least seven to one. But that wasn't going to stop them. Tauriel stood at the helm of the troops, her sword glinting in the sun. The smell of rotting orc flesh filled her nostrils. Tauriel's sword lusted to cut orc flesh. She was ready to kill.

The black army stopped. They were in range. For a moment there was silence, as each army sized up the other. Tauriel bounced on the balls of her feet.

"Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir*!" She cried. With a single resounding roar of approval, they charged.

Unable to contain her lust to kill any longer, Tauriel ran faster. She wanted to kill. Her sword sunk into the first of many orcs. The sound of metal cutting flesh could be heard everywhere. She slashed, hacked, swore, kicked and murdered.

Around her, the resounding cries of battle and death could be heard. She lifted her sword, now dripping with black orc blood. An arrow whizzed past her face, slicing her cheek open. The cut was deep enough to have nearly hit bone. Her eyes flashed with anger. She turned to an orc brandishing a bow.

Her helm and part of her armour was gone, for they had been fighting long and hard. Her hair was all over the place and her cape was in shreds. Despite all this, it was still truly terrifying when she charged at the orc who attempted to shoot her. Now it was personal.

She smashed its head with the butt of her sword and kicked it hard up the place where pain is guaranteed on a man. She slashed at his face and cut off its arms and legs in a single swipe. The mutilated hunk of flesh that was left of the orc choked and gargled blood. She pressed her boot onto its throat.

"Feel Death's icy claws take you and know that it was Tauriel who sent you to him." She spat and promptly turned and beheaded another orc.

Tauriel continued her deadly dance.

The ugliest and cruellest of all the orc among them was their leader. He had been watching this she-elf and decided it was time to put an end to this witches' reign. He slowly drew a throwing knife.

Behind her, Tauriel could hear the scraping of a knife being slowly drawn from its sheath. She turned and leapt back, out of the path of a throwing knife that imbedded itself into the back of another orc.

The leader growled in fury and drew his sword. He was going to kill her.

She charged him and they fought, their swords clashing louder than any others. It lasted long and was a tedious fight.

Tauriel's sword clattered to the floor.

She couldn't believe it. The bitch disarmed her. The ground was knocked out from beneath her. He kicked her in the nose with an iron boot.

"Die, she-elf." The orc spat. It lifted its ugly line of torture. It kicked dirt in her face. She rolled over and grabbed a nearby club that one of the orcs had dropped.

"I'm going to pound you until your anus and mouth reverse their functions!" She spat venomously and with her feet, she twisted the sword out of his hands. It landed right between her legs. The club went down once. And again. And again. And again. The orc's mangled nose spurted black blood. It lay twitching. She grabbed an axe from a nearby orc and buried it into his helm.

"Told you so." She said and ran off.

"Haldir!" she cried. It was time to end this. "Sii'!*" Her troops heard the signal and regrouped. They drew away from the battle and charged from behind. The orcs were confused and surprised by this sudden attack. Victory was theirs.

All but one orc had been slain. Everyone looked at Tauriel.

She held the final orc by the helm, in front of her. In a single, graceful movement, she slit its throat, allowing the black liquid to run onto her hand. They cheered for Tauriel, who had led them to victory once more.

Present Day

The next day, Tauriel awoke to a thumping at her door. Couldn't people just _leave her alone_?! Tauriel wanted to sink into the earth slowly. She was surrounded by shreds of the memories she had shared with Florien. She had been out on an army mission for two months and this is what she got to come home to. Life was truly charming.

"Tauriel!" Horphen was at the door. "Open up!" He called. She groaned and dragged herself to the door.

"Morning," he said brightly. Tauriel grunted in reply.

"What's wrong?" Before she could answer, he walked in. "Where's Florien?" Tauriel turned to face him.

"He's gone."

"This early? Where to?"

"No, Horphen I got rid of him. I walked in on him with another elleth."

Almost immediately, Horphen's face morphed into one of complete fury. He had always been extremely protective of Tauriel and so any likings he had for Florien were immediately gone.

"What?! But you two were going to be married next month!"

"I know."

"Where is he? I'll kill him! How dare he! That slimy, greasy bastard!"

"No doubt he's moved in with that other girl. Then when she's about to have the baby he'll leave and find someone else."

"The baby?!"

"She's pregnant." Tauriel was surprised by how unaffected she was by all of this. She felt empty. Tauriel rubbed the back of her hand. As she did, she felt cold metal press against her.

It was her engagement ring. It had been very beautifully crafted. Two pieces of pure silver had been knotted together to form a circlet, with a blue diamond wrought into the middle. She hadn't taken it off since the day she had been given it. Now she looked at it with regret. It had been a naïve decision, to agree. She felt so much older now.

Tauriel was not a full blooded elf. She was only halfelven, the shameful product of her mother's carelessness with a Gondorian soldier, as she had accidentally found out when she was a child. She had been raised an elf, therefore prolonging her life, but soon she would make her decision. Would she choose to become an elf or a woman?

Tauriel didn't know. In fact at that moment, she felt so lost she wasn't sure she would ever be found.

Someone was trying to wake her.

"Five more minutes Florien." She groaned.

"It's not Florien. It's Horphen. Remember? Tauriel, there's someone at the door."

"Tell them to go away, I'm sleeping."

"Army orders. Open up soldier." Tauriel groaned again and flopped out of bed. She snatched her dressing gown and pulled it on as she made her way to the front door of her talan.

With her hair looking like a rat's nest, piercing eyes half closed and styling a half on, half off dressing gown, she opened the door to her Captain Suiauthon.

"Tauriel." He looked at her with a single eyebrow raised. "I hope you are" he paused. Horphen came over.

"Sir," he saluted. The Captain's eyebrow rose further.

Was she not to be married three weeks from now to another?

"-Well rested. Tomorrow we move out. I am afraid that orc army you fought yesterday was but a fraction of a much larger army that has been sighted not far out to the east. They are headed straight for us. We must wipe them out before they arrive." Both of them saluted their Captain. He nodded to them and left.

"You don't think he knows do you?" Tauriel asked.

"About what?" Horphen seemed troubled about this recent news.

"Florien."

"No. I hope he didn't get the wrong idea from seeing me here though."

"It doesn't matter. He knows better than to put his nose where is doesn't belong. Thank you Horphen, for being there for me today and yesterday. I really appreciate it."

"Hey, that's what friends are for." He put his arms around her. "You know, I really meant it when I said I'll kill him."

"I know." Tauriel replied and frowned. The curse he had promised to place on her troubled her. At first she didn't believe he actually would, but what if he did? And what effect would it have?


	3. Chapter 3

Golden rays of light filtered through her window. The birds chirped and the trees sung. Despite this, there was a sense of foreboding in the air. Today the army left to fight. When an entire army is summoned to fight, something is definitely wrong.

There seemed to be no warmth left in the sun as they left Caras Galadhon. They marched through Lothlorien. Everything seemed cold and empty and lifeless, something no elf should be. They marched for a day, nothing for an elf, yet to all of them it seemed to last forever.

Tauriel marched, but her head was not held high. Nor was there pride in her heart and tactics running through her mind. It was as if someone had taken away her soul and left a fully functional corpse. The truth was, Tauriel could feel the emotions weighing down on her heart. She had promised herself she wouldn't let Florien's betrayal take over her, yet she couldn't stop thinking of him.

All she wanted was for everything to go back to the way it was. But how could they do that? How could their world go back to the way it was when there was such much hurt and anger and sadness between them? The truth is there was no going back. They had taken their separate paths and Tauriel could only hope they would never cross again.

Captain Suiauthon rallied his troops. As he gave a battle speech, Tauriel's gaze pierced the army. It was made up of orcs and goblins and all other manner of dark creatures from the mountains covered Drimrill Dale.

Today, Tauriel had neither fire nor grace in cutting down her foe. Usually she was harsh and passionate about killing them and danced to the song of battle. Today she was messy and all over the place. Midway, she got aggressive with the orc, and the old Tauriel began to shine through but after a few minutes the new Tauriel won out. Several times she let her guard down, once almost losing a leg because of it. When an orc cut her, she just stared at the cut. Usually she was murderous towards any orc who dared attempt to injure her. Seeing her like this worried everyone who knew her, especially Horphen.

Horphen turned and clashed sword with another orc. This one was strong. They parried long and hard. Every time Horphen tried to thrust his sword into the orc, it deflected him. The orc held out much longer that any of the others he had fought. Finally, Horphen was winning. He could feel the orc weaken under his stroke.

Behind him, he felt a cold, jagged blade swipe his back. Blinded by the pain, he fell to his knees. His knees were weak from pain. He fell back onto the ground, his injured back first to hit the floor.

The orc leaned over Horphen. He could smell its foul breath.

"Nobody can live forever." It spat. It slowly drew a dagger. Horphen couldn't move. His body was broken and there was no weapon nearby. All he could do was watch.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, the orc lowered its dagger onto his cheekbone. For a moment, it pressed the flat of the blade against his cheekbone. There was silence. Both of them waited. Around them, the battle raged on. The only thing that mattered to this orc though, was to kill the elf and to make it hurt.

It slashed the dagger, deep and hard, across his cheekbone and slowing it down, allowing it to curve and stop just under his eye. He didn't want to blind the elf, oh no. He wanted to elf to see the blade, watch it and see who did it. See who took his immortality from him.

Again, he carved, this time slower. Under his grip, Horphen squirmed and screamed and contorted his face, which only lead to more pain.

Pain...It was all Horphen could feel. In one eye, his vision went white, the other eye black. His head, his face, his body, everything hurt so much. The orc...

Suddenly, the weight on him lessened significantly. Enough so to allow his vision to clear a little. Leaning over him was Tauriel. His little sister. His guardian angel.

Tauriel had seen the orc. It was leaning over someone that could only be an elf. Under it the elf writhed. She boiled with fury. The orc was torturing the elf! He would pay!

She ran over to it and cut its back open, though not enough to kill it. Three more cuts followed. A thin one on its neck, so it could slowly choke, one across its eye and a deep one, that twisted around in its stomach. It lay on the ground, mouth foaming, choking on its own black blood. She snarled in distaste then turned and knelt down next to the elf. The orc had completely defaced him, but she could just about make out-

No.

_No._

NO!

"Horphen?" She whispered, terrified. He looked up.

"Tauriel. I knew you'd find me. You're always there for me." He sounded so tired, yet relieved and happy. He blinked slowly and blood streaked from his eye. Hot, sticky, red blood.

"Horphen I-" she began to breathe heavily. Panic welled up inside her. Her brother, her best friend, her first crush, her play mate, her shoulder to lean on, Horphen had been there from the beginning. And the one time he needed her most, she wasn't there.

"I'm going to help you. Come on. I need to get you out of here." She sounded panicky and desperate. She wasn't going to give up on him yet. She stood up and bent down. She tried to lift him, support him somehow, but in vain. As Tauriel desperately attempted to lift Horphen, she saw a large patch of blood on the back of his shirt. It the middle, it was torn, where some foul creature had presumably stabbed him in the back.

_Why?!_

Why of all people did it have to be Horphen she had to lose? She fell to her knees, hard. The metal knee protectors cut into her shins, but she didn't care. Slowly, gently she lifted the now heavily breathing Horphen from under the arms and pulled him onto her lap.

She pushed the golden brown lock of hair from his face. His hair had always been a little wild. He could never braid all of it back. A ghost of smile passed across her face as a memory slipped into her mind.

_Tauriel chased Horphen, shrieking and laughing insanely. The little monster was brandishing a pair of scissors. He had been braiding his hair for their dress up game as warriors. Every time he tried, bits of it flew out. They plastered it down with water and it still didn't work. She threatened to chop it all off so they wouldn't have to worry and believing her, he ran off. Any opportunity to chase Horphen was worth it, so she raced after him with the scissors._

It seemed like such a pointless memory now, with everything that was happening, but maybe that was what she needed.

Horphen groaned. His brow creased.

"It hurts." Tauriel couldn't find the right words to say to him. What was she meant to say? She couldn't beg him to stay for what pride would there be in death then? But she couldn't find the words to reassure and praise him.

"Tauriel, I'm going to leave you here. I'm sorry that it had to end this way." No. She didn't want it to end here. She didn't want to lose him.

"Horphen, don't you dare apologise." She said her voice catching. "You were incredibly brave. And besides we agreed that if we were going to go, this would be the way. Honour in battle? Glory in death? Do you remember who said those words?"

"I did."

"Good." She finished, tears streaming down her face. In her arms, she could feel him going cold. Suddenly, he pulled her in and kissed her.

"I had to know what that felt like. Before-" Horphen paused and seemed to take a deep breath in. His eyes drifted closed and he went still. He remained still, never to move again.

"Horphen? Horphen please!" she whispered, her breaths fast and uneven.

It wasn't fair.

Tauriel could feel a tingling in her back. It was an almost itchy feeling. Then suddenly, Horphen was closer and closer to her, until she lay across him, arms thrown over his chest.

Then the pain came.


	4. Chapter 4

The orc lifted its black sword and slashed the elf's back open. Nice and deep and slowly. That was the way to make it hurt. It fell forward slowly onto another dead elf.

Then the pain came.

At first, it was a prickly, tingling sensation. Her vision turned white as a wave of agonising pain stabbed at her. She could feel hot, wet, sticky blood running over and pressing against her cold skin between her armour plates. Tauriel tried to shift but the pain was blinding. Her body was twisted in such a way that even the smallest movement hurt. As the muscles in her spine shifted slightly, bruises and blood appeared. She laid, torso twisted, with her legs and feet facing one way and the rest of her body facing the other way.

Breathing heavily and unevenly, Tauriel twisted her arm around. The metal forearm protectors cut into her skin as she turned her elbow. She clenched every muscle in her body to prevent herself from passing out. She *had* to get her back plate off. It was cutting into her mid back, where the cut was already deepest. She blindly pulled at the leather straps, unable to see what she was doing. She tugged desperately. She didn't care about the pain it brought, it just absolutely *had* to come off.

The strip of leather unravelled and it sprung open. The impact meant it dug into the other side more. She contorted her face. The rest of the straps for her back plate were completely inaccessible. She would kill herself trying at this rate.

Time seemed to slow and disappear around her. Her struggle was in vain and she lay for an endless amount of time, allowing the pain to flow. At some point, she blacked out.

When she opened her eyes, her fingers were dripping with her own scarlet blood. On the sand in front of her, a messy group of drawings.

In blood.

Her _own_ blood.

What the-?

Her breathing quickened in panic. It rose inside of her and threatened to completely close up her throat. What had she done?

The darkness took her.

She couldn't move.

She was sending messages to her limbs to get up, but they wouldn't respond. Her neck wouldn't turn. Her eyes whizzed around in fear. She couldn't do anything but look.

What was happening?! She couldn't _move_! _Why_ couldn't she move?

It was dark. The battle was over and the elves were gathering, preparing to leave. The last of the dead were being collected and the injured tended to. They were going to go home.

Without her.

She swallowed hard. It hurt, but she had to try.

"Help!" She croaked. "Please!" Her voice was getting quieter. "Come back! Come back!" It was no use. They were getting further away. They were leaving her alone here, to die. Scarlet tears trickled down her face. Maybe this was it. This was what she deserved and this would be how she would end. A fallen memory in battle to be pressed into the pages of a book if she was lucky enough to be remembered by anyone.

The last thing she felt was the slow bobbing up and down of being on a cart.

Tauriel's eyes snapped open. She took three heaving gulps of air before assessing her surroundings. She was lying flat. Her armour had been polished and her hair combed out of her face. But the smell seemed wrong...it was like that of dried blood. Lots of dried blood. And flesh. Rotting flesh. She looked in the corners of her eyes; her neck would not move. There was a whole line of others the same. They weren't sleeping. Her eyes widened. She was amongst the dead bodies!

No way. Not while there was still life in her. No one was around to help her or hear her. Cold warmth was slowly creeping back into her limbs. She kept trying to move them. It took many attempts before it finally shifted a centimetre. In one huge push, she shifted enough to fall off the slab and hit the floor face first, slapping her cheek hard and crunching her nose.

It felt like it took hours to drag herself the short distance to the doorway.

The door opened and hit her forehead. She groaned and flicked her eyes up.

"I'm not dead."


End file.
